Living Nightmare
by Zoeth
Summary: Having landed in a new world, Fai and Kurogane find themselves in a large forest when they are attacked by a savage, half wild girl. As they attempt to tame her while searching for the others they are plagued by strange and terrifying nightmares. Who is this girl and what connection does she have to these dreams? Post-series. Rated T for now with M chapters later. Slight KuroXOC
1. First Night I

This is my second fanfic on the go, and a semi-squeal to my other one although it's a complete and separate story in its own right. There will be references to my other fic's main OC, Kezia, having joined the group and being in a relationship with Fai (which you all knew was going to happen as soon as I wrote FaiXOC in the description), but other than that the stories are completely separate. They may join later, but only after I've finished Gaia's Gift.

This will be in much shorter chapters than my other fic, and will alternate between 3rd person, past tense POV and 1st person, present tense POV. 3rd person will be narrated from Kurogane's point of view, 1st from the girl's (who as yet doesn't have a name).

The story is heading to an eventual KuroXOC, however my poor OC is so messed up that's likely going to be a very slow burner! He shall be slowly falling for her throughout this fic, but I might have to write a sequel for them to actually get together!

As ever all characters from Tsubasa and any references to their story lines are owned by CLAMP. I only own this particular story, the OCs within it, and the OCs referenced from my other fics.

Not sure how to rate this, I'm going to go for T for now and label some chapters as M. If more end up M than T I'll change the overall rating. References to rape and abuse, some bad language and one future instance of self harm. If you have any concerns over rating, let me know and I'll change it.

Please let me know what you think, chapter 2 is ready to go so I can post that fairly quickly if you like it.

**Living Nightmare**_  
_

_Having landed in a new world, Fai and Kurogane find themselves in a large forest, separated from the others when they are attacked by a savage, half wild girl. As they attempt to tame her whilst searching for their companions they are plagued by strange and terrifying nightmares. Who is this girl and what connection does she have to these dreams?_

* * *

Two men stalked through the dense woods, one dark haired and tall, the other blonde and skinny. They had landed separate from Mokona again. The fact that they could still understand each other meant that they couldn't be far from the white manju bun-like creature, but they had been searching this damn forest for hours without the slightest trace of the stupid thing or the kid and the redhead she must've landed with. The sun was setting, casting the already dim forest into an early darkness. Before long it would be too dark to see where they were going, let alone manage to find their way amongst the close packed trees and crowded undergrowth. The forest seemed to go on forever and there was a slight quality to it that set Kurogane's nerves on edge. He had the feeling that they were being followed, but he couldn't pin down the source which was frustrating him.

"Well Kuro-pu, we'd better find somewhere to sleep soon. I don't think we're going to find the others tonight."

Kurogane grunted in response. The magician had been unusually quiet, meaning he must sense something unusual amongst these trees too. But he was right. There was little point searching with no light, and if there was something dangerous in this forest it would be best to find a place to spend the night that was defendable and maybe build a fire. He scanned the trees and was about to make a suggestion when something dark flew past the corner of his vision.

He span around to see a figure crouched on top of Fai, who was now lying on his back on the bracken strewn floor. There was a strange, glowing knife in their hand which was pressed up against the blonde man's throat. The ninja's body acted instinctively, launching himself at the attacker, pushing them off the mage's thin frame and hurling them to the floor. There was no time to draw his sword, but the mechanical arm he'd got newly fitted when they had visited Piffle again and his own ninja training were more than enough to take on one opponent as small as this one.

The attacker was quickly pinned to the floor, the metal of his prosthetic fingers wrapped around her skinny neck. For now that he had her restrained it was obvious that his opponent was female. His other hand grasped the wrist of the hand holding the dagger, forcing it to the ground. She struggled and it surprised Kurogane how strong she was, despite her scrawny frame.

But no girl of this size, no matter how strong, was a match for the ninja. He resisted her struggles easily and looked into her face, where for a moment he froze. Her eyes were the strangest pearlescent silver, so pale as to be almost white, but with the darkest ring encircling her iris. They were glowing faintly in the dark woods, just like her dagger.

And they were terrified.

As she returned his gaze, the fear in her eyes grew and grew until suddenly with a shudder they closed and her body went limp beneath him. The dagger in her hand flickered and disappeared.

"What did you do to her, Kuro-pon?" the magician asked from behind him. He turned around, shifting his weight slightly and checking the girl's pulse with the hand around her neck.

"I didn't do anything," he protested, looking up at the wizard. There was a trickle of blood coming from a small cut across his throat. Her dagger must have scratched the blonde as he pushed her off him.

"She just stared at me and fainted." Her pulse was normal, if a little slow and she was breathing she was alive but unconscious. Convinced she wasn't going to get up and attack them again he moved so that he was crouching next to her, rather than over her.

"I can understand why looking at Kuro-doggy's face might have that effect," the wizard teased, but his voice didn't match his words.

"She was… terrified," the ninja said, somehow disturbed by the intensity of the look in her eyes just before she passed out.

"I know, I saw her eyes," the mage admitted, crouching down opposite Kurogane and putting a hand to the girl's face, his eyes as troubled as Kurogane felt.

The girl was thin and had a scraggly look about her. She had dark hair that was matted, with bits of twigs and leaves stuck in it and looked as though it hadn't been cut in years. Her pale skin was stained by dirt and she was covered in small scratches from her hands all the way to her feet, which were bare and filthy. Her clothes were torn and ragged. She looked as though she had been living rough in this forest for some time.

"What should we do with her?" Fai asked, "We can't just leave her like this."

"I'm not so keen on having her wake up and attack us again either," Kurogane muttered, noticing that her dagger had also managed to scratch his arm.

"I guess we'll have to take her with us, at least until we can find someone to look after her."

The ninja grunted again, sceptically. He got the feeling that this forest stretched on for miles and that there weren't any people inhabiting it. But he couldn't think of anything else to do. He nodded and sat the girl up, preparing to lift her over one shoulder. The wizard raised his hand with his index and middle fingers outstretched and waved it in a decisive movement across his chest. Strange blue letters and symbols flowed from his fingertips and wrapped themselves around the girl's skinny wrists and ankles, binding her feet together and her hands behind her back.

"Just in case she wakes up," he said as the ninja hefted her slim form over one shoulder.


	2. First Night II

Okay, as promised chapter two is up nice and quick :] Will probably be a bit longer till the next one though. Although as they're short they don't take as long to write as my others so hopefully I will be able to update both fics at the same pace :]

Chapter 2 written in the girl's POV. I'm using a sort of 'stream of conciousness' thing to make it seem more personal, so if the grammar is a little weird in places, that'll be the reason. I quite like the contrast to the more traditional way I'm writing Kurogane's POV.

Anyway, hope you enjoy! Please review and let me know what you think!

* * *

Consciousness slowly seeps through my mind, bringing me back from the black abyss, restoring my senses.

First comes memory. There were men in my woods. What were they doing here? No man had set foot in this forest for years. What did they want? I follow them silently, ghosting through the trees. They seem to be looking for something, or someone. Me? They pause and I take my chance, launching myself at the slimmer of the two, the only one I could hope to knock down. I take them by surprise, hurling him to the floor and landing on his chest, pinning him down. There's a dagger in my hand and I hold it to his throat, but I don't strike, not yet. I have to know why they've come.

WHAM! I'm thrown to the side and onto my back, the other man on top of me, holding me to the floor, his hand around my neck, too hard to be flesh, too cold. I struggle, writhe and wriggle and thrash but it's no use, he's too strong and I can't move, there's nothing I can do. I can't escape. I look into his eyes and they're red, like blood and I know there's no point in fighting any more. My defences kick in and I black out.

So where was I now? What had those men done to me? As consciousness floods through my body I push out with my senses, probing, exploring, waiting for the pain.

But none comes.

I almost open my eyes with the shock. I check again, more thoroughly. There's an ache in the base of my skull, and warm blood, sticky on the back of my neck, but that happened when I fell, before I blacked out. Other than that there was nothing. Not a scratch, not a bruise, not even an ache between my legs.

They hadn't hurt me.

The realisation is something I can't quite understand. I was completely at their mercy, there was no way I could have fought back, or escaped. Why hadn't they hurt me? Maybe they were waiting until I woke up, maybe for them it's no fun if I'm asleep. Well if that's the case then they won't get what they want. If they try again I'll just black out on them. It's the only defence I have if I can't escape them.

I explore with my senses again, pushing further this time, beyond my body. I'm no longer lying down. I feel rough bark against my back and soil beneath my feet. So I'm propped up against a tree. My hands and feet are bound, but even there there's no pain, no burn from rope or bruises from chains. I wriggle my hands behind my back, trying to get purchase on this strange substance. It's cool and smooth, but won't give, not even a fraction. There's something else about it, something… ethereal.

And then it hits me. It's magic. They've bound me with magic. Panic rushes through me. How? How could they have magic? In all my life there has never been anyone else, and if there had… Terror replaces panic. What are they going to do?

I can hear them talking, quietly. They've built a fire, I can feel its heat warming my body even though I must be some way from it. I can't hear what they're saying, their voices are so low they're lost in the crackle and hiss of the flames. Slowly, I open my eyes.

The two men are sat by the fire, just beyond where I would be able to reach, were I free to do so. The man who had knocked me down is closest, but with his back to me. He is _huge_. Not only tall but well built, with muscles that bulge underneath his skin. I shudder inwardly, dreading what that man might be able to do to me. Only he hadn't. His hair is short and black and he seems to be the complete opposite of the man he sits across from. The man who was my intended victim is thin and fair, pale skin and golden hair. There's a strip of cloth around his neck, I must have caught him with my dagger as the dark-haired man pushed me off him.

I thought they hadn't noticed I was awake, but as though he senses my eyes on him, the blonde looks my way. Immediately I drop my eyes to the floor and bow my head, but I can hear him getting up and coming towards me.

"So you're awake then?" he asks, his voice soft and somehow musical. He crouches down in front of me and I shrink back into my tree. I feel his fingers cup my chin, soft and warm, and I flinch. He hesitates for a moment, but then slowly raises my face until I'm looking right at him. His eyes are wide and blue, sparkling and deep and I can't look away. But they puzzle me. There's something in there I don't understand. They look wary (understandable seeing as I tried to cut his throat) and questioning, almost curious, but there's something else, something I can't quite place.

They look kind.

The thought hits me just as the big man had earlier, knocking me just as hard. Kindness. I'd almost forgotten such a thing existed. But… why? Who were these men who not only have not hurt me, but now look at me with kindness? I didn't think such a thing was possible.

"Are you alright?" the blonde asks. He's changed his voice somehow, it's lighter, even softer than before. It stirs a memory somewhere in the back of my mind, something long since forgotten and I realise what his tone means. It matches the look in his eyes.

Who were these people?

"It looks like you hit your head when Kuro-sama here pushed you to the ground. He gets a bit overenthusiastic sometimes but I don't think it's too bad." He prattles on, a smile on his face that I can tell is fake.

Seemingly concerned by my lack of answer he moves his hand towards the back of my head. I shrink back further, trying to avoid his touch and a low growl escapes my lips. My muscles clench and I'm ready to fight in any way I can. But he draws his hand back looking slightly alarmed. He holds them up in front of me as if he's trying to show me where they are.

"We're not going to hurt you," he says, all trace of a smile gone and what looks like… _concern_ on his face. Nobody's looked at me like that since I was a child, and even then never a _man_.

I try and pull back even further, wishing I could run, escape. These strange men, treating me in such a confusing manner when they shouldn't even be here. Somehow it terrifies me even more than when the big one was on top of me. At least I know how to deal with situations like that, but this? My heart pounds against my ribs and my breath comes shallow and fast but I can't feel the blackness creeping up on me. Somehow my magic is telling me I'm not in danger. I'm not sure whether this should bother me or not. My magic has been the only thing I could ever rely on, the only thing I could ever trust. But I've never been in a situation so far from my understanding before. Perhaps my magic isn't made to deal with things like this?

The blonde man moves back slightly, giving me some space and behind him I see the big man, watching me as intently as the slim one. His face is harsh, full of hard, straight lines. His eyes are narrowed and his brow furrowed. If this had been any other time, any other place then I would have thought I knew what he was thinking. But all of this is so far beyond what I know that I look, I really look. I know what hatred and lust and cruelty look like. I know the gleam they give to a man's eyes. His eyes hold none of those things. They just watch me. Like the blonde's.

I don't know what to do.

Finally the fear overcomes me and I feel the corners of my mind grow dark as my magic takes over and sends me into a blissful, unknowing sleep.


	3. First Night III

Sorry about the delay! Have had a rough week and have barely been able to get to the computer :( But I've got two chapters for this one now, and another which I can add pretty soon :] Quite introspective and more just sort of setting things up, but stuff will get going with my next update :]

Hope you enjoy, please review!

* * *

Kurogane deftly reached forward to catch the girl as she toppled to one side, unconscious again. She disturbed him. The terror in her eyes when he had first seen her had troubled him, but there had been some reason for that he supposed. He had, after all, had her pinned to the ground with his hand around her throat. So when she had woken up he'd kept his distance, figuring seeing him might spark her fear again. The mage was better at the whole friendly caring thing anyway.

He gently propped her back up against the tree and his eyes met the blonde's. His concern was written all over his face – for once wiping away that constant mask. Whilst her fear before had been understandable, neither of them had expected the intensity of her reaction now. The ninja had been of the opinion that the magician was incapable of frightening anyone with that dumb smile and sing-song voice of his, but the girl had been petrified.

The simple fact of her fear was not the only thing bothering him. He had seen fear before. In the past he had been proud of his ability to strike dread into the hearts of those who faced him. He had met the eyes of the men whom he'd killed and watched as they clouded with horror at the prospect of their imminent death. He'd even enjoyed it. But the emotion in her eyes surpassed that – it was not death that she was scared of. He got the impression that if they had killed her she would have seen it as a relief.

Even fear itself seemed an inadequate description of the way she had looked at them. Fear implies a possibility, a hope that whatever frightens one might not come to pass. What her eyes held was instead an expectation. An expectation of pain so bad she might see it as a kindness if they _had_ killed her.

The ninja did not like the sensation of being responsible for such an emotion. To cause those who wanted to hurt him to be scared of him was one thing. But it was obvious that this girl had no desire to cause them harm. She was no fighter, she had never been trained. It was clear to him that her initial attack had been borne of desperation, an attempt to escape the pain she believed _they_ would cause _her_. Two men whom she had never seen before in her life.

What had been done to her to provoke such abject terror? What sort of a person would do such things to an apparently innocent girl? He felt anger build in his gut. If there was one thing he would not tolerate, it was the torture of innocents.

He was interrupted from these thoughts by the mage gingerly reaching out a hand and gently toughing the girl's sleeping face as if he hoped to give some comfort to her as she slept.

"What should we do with her now?" the blonde asked quietly, "It doesn't seem right to keep her tied up after… that. It'll hardly inspire her to trust us."

Kurogane grunted softly in agreement. "I'm not so sure that we can trust _her_ though. If she's that scared of us she might decide to try and kill us in our sleep, just to make sure we don't hurt her."

The magician nodded sadly. "I'm sorry to have to treat you in this way," he whispered. Then he brought his hand up with a wave and the softly glowing blue ribbons around her limbs released and reformed, this time forming a tether that attached her ankle to the tree behind her.

"This way she'll be contained, but she'll be free to move around as she wishes," he said, "As long as we stay out of her reach, she won't pose a threat to us."

The ninja nodded. It was a good solution, one he had been about to suggest himself. The mage gently took the girl's slight form in his arms and arranged her on the ground in a more comfortable position, nearer the fire so she wouldn't get cold. The blue cord stretched out behind her, almost taut.

"We ought to give her some space, in case she wakes up."

Kurogane nodded as the mage moved back to the other side of the fire and moved to follow him. Almost as an afterthought he took off his cloak and spread it over her limp form. The two men sat in silence for some time, lost in contemplation of this strange girl and her unknown past. Fai kept glancing across the fire, searching for signs that the girl might wake up, but she remained still and quiet. If it were not for the slight rise and fall of her chest, the ninja might have thought her dead. Minutes became hours and they decided there was no point waiting for her to wake. Whatever the next day held for them, it would no doubt require them to be clear of mind.


	4. First Night IV

Second chapter for this update :] The next will bring the first of the nightmares.

* * *

I feel warm as my mind slowly swims back into consciousness. It's an unusual sensation for me, living in a forest forces you to get used to being cold. Fires are too much trouble to build on any but the coldest nights and it's rather hard to find a duvet. But my life in the forest is still so much warmer than it ever was before…

It's at this point that the fact that I'm warm really penetrates my mind, around the same time as my ears catch the gentle crackle of a slowly dying fire, a fire I know _I_ didn't build. My eyes snap open as I remember that I've been caught by two men, two very strange men. I'm lying on the ground now, closer to the fire, but far enough away that there's no danger of me being hit by stray sparks. It's burnt down to the final stages now, where the embers ripple and glow with only the barest hint of flames dancing above them. For a moment everything else escapes my mind as I let the beauty and warmth wash over me, luxuriating in the feel of safety they give me – even if it's only for the barest of moments.

Then of course the present reasserts itself and I realise that the two men haven't yet spoken, that I haven't even heard them move. I wriggle under the heavy cloth I'm under, preparing to – hold on.

I struggle to sit up and realise that they've covered me with… what looks like one of their cloaks. I look across the fire and see them on the far side, apparently asleep. The blonde is curled up on the floor under his own cloak, but the raven is sleeping sat against a tree, wearing just a jacket. It must be his cloak they covered me with.

But… why? These men, first they don't hurt me, now they… what? Try to keep me warm? Try to make me comfortable? I almost snort at the idea but I don't want to wake them. Men don't do such things. Men would _never_ do such things.

I scan the forest around me, judging by what little I can see of the sky it looks as though it must be the first few hours of the morning. My hands are no longer bound, neither are my legs, but I'm not so foolish to think that they'll have simply let me go. Sure enough a strange blue line extends behind me to the tree beyond. A tether. It makes sense although I'd expected them to just leave me bound. I reach down to examine the strange substance which appears to be glowing ever so slightly. It's tangible, definitely _there_, and yet somehow it barely has a texture, or temperature, barely feels of anything at all. The only way I can think to describe it is like air made solid somehow. It's obvious that this is magic, and yet _my_ magic isn't responding in the slightest. I'm a little startled to realise that I don't even feel scared. I look over to the men, seemingly sleeping peacefully. I do a quick check of my body and once again they haven't hurt me.

I shake my head, I really have no idea how to deal with this situation. But my limbs ache and my head feels heavy. I lay down again, wrapping the warm fabric around me, savouring this precious comfort. Who knows when I'll be warm again? Why not just enjoy it whilst it lasts? I stare into the remains of the fire, watching as the flames dance and the embers ripple in ever-changing patterns. Perhaps if they've not hurt me yet they might not till morning.

_Or maybe not at all._

The thought startles me. It's absurd. Such a thing would be impossible, I've just been away from men for too long, forgotten…

Oh if only I could forget…


	5. Nightmare I M

**THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M**

For abuse and implied rape. Non-graphic, I really don't want to go into detail, but it's an adult topic hence the higher rating.

If you don't want to read then it shouldn't impact too much on the storyline, but obviously it does add to the plot else I wouldn't put it in and there might be some things later that you don't fully get if you haven't read it. I don't think it's too bad, but just to be safe I've given you a warning :]

* * *

_It's my thirteenth birthday. The day I officially become an adult. The day my slavery begins. The cell I'm in is damp and dark, lit only by a single, dim, bare bulb. The only furniture is a mouldy mattress on the floor and a bucket for me to piss in. The door only opens with a key. A key I'll never have. From now on this is my home._

_I cringe as I hear the door unlock. What are they going to do to me? It opens and a man steps through, tall and thin and stinking of smoke and alcohol. What is he going to do to me? He locks the door behind him and crouches down to look at me, his eyes leering and his breath making me choke as it blows in my face. He reaches a hand down and grabs my chin. Oh Mother, what is he going to do to me?_

_Suddenly his hands grab my shoulders, jerking me up. He grins and the sight makes me feel sick. His hands travel down my body, slowly feeling my virtually non-existent curves. Don't scream. Don't shout. Don't struggle. Don't fight. I cling to everything I've been taught, letting it flow through my head like a mantra. But when his fingers snake their way under my ragged dress I can't help myself and I whimper with fear. This only widens the grin and his hands grip me tighter, bruising my skin. He starts to rip off my dress, literally tearing the fabric. His fingernails leave welts on my skin._

_Suddenly I don't care anymore. I don't care what they taught me. I don't care if it makes it worse. It can't _get_ much worse. This is wrong and I can't stand it and I won't let them do it without a fight._

_I start to struggle, to writhe and wriggle and thrash. The man only laughs and throws me against the wall, pushing himself against me. I bring my knee up between his legs and struggle even more, trying to break his grip but this only earns me a hand around my throat, squeezing until I can barely breathe, the air scraping my throat as I gasp and wheeze._

"_You little bitch!"_

_I know now there's nothing more I can do. He's too strong and I'm too weak. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. Despite the hand on my throat I scream, loud and shrill and wild and full of terror. I don't stop until he's finished with me, leaving me to slide down the wall in a shivering heap, cold, crying, alone, bleeding. And what's worse is a simple truth. One tiny thought that slips through my terrified mind._

_This is only the first night._


End file.
